| Here I Am... Come Laugh With Me | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| This Is The Dawn of a New Era, So Listen Up and Listen Good! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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This is for all the jokes I've loved before -- but had originally been told by someone else. Here's hoping that I become as creative as the folks at "alt.tasteless.jokes" and "rec.humor." | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Brothers Menendez and THEIR View on the Situation | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The following exchange took place on March 5th's episode of Politically Correct between Bill Maher, the host, and lawyer Leslie Abramson, who defended the Menendez brothers. Bill: When do lawyers give a damn about the facts? Leslie: When did you or Jeraldo give a damn about the facts? Bill: You defended the Menendez kids. What do you care about facts? Leslie:I don't remember seeing you in the courtroom, Bill, so you absolutely don't know anything about the trial. Bill: I know they blew off their parents' heads off. Leslie: No, they didn't. They didn't blow their parents' heads off. Bill: The Menendez kids didn't blow their parents' heads off? Leslie: No! Bill: What did they do? Leslie: They unloaded shotguns in their direction. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Potty Years | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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A father decides it's about time for his son to learn how to take a piss by himself, so he has a nice talkwith him and explains the whole thing to him with numbers. | "#1: You unzip your pants. #2: You take your junior out. #3: You pull the foreskin back. #4: You aim for the center of the toilet and shoot. #5: You push the foreskin forward. #6: You put your junior back in and zip up your fly." Later that night, he walks pass the bathroom and hears: "4...5...4...5...4...5...Yeeha! 4...5...4...5...4...5...Yeeha!"
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